Rachel: So are things between you and Joey getting any better?
Chandler: It couldn’t get any worse. Last night, I spent eight hours calling him, trying to get him to talk to me.
Rachel: Oh, wow. Eight hours. So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Rachel: You shouldn’t.
Phoebe: Chandler still thinks I’m pregnant and he hasn’t asked me how I’m feeling or offered to carry my bags. I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.
Joey: Wh-what’s complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance, you go past the Mudhut, through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey, you yank his tail, and Boom! you’re in Paradise Pond!
Joey: …’Cause in Joey Tribbiani, you get a minister, and you get an entertainer. I’m a “ministainer!” There’s no one better, there’s no one greater!
Monica: Hey. Where is he, where’s Richard? Did you ditch him?
Joey: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What’s the matter with you? He’s parking the car.
(Central Perk)
Rachel: (coming from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs?
Phoebe: Huh?
Rachel: I’m having dinner with my dad tomorrow night, do you wanna come?
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, he’s kinda sexy.
Rachel: Oh no, no, I’ll be there too.
Phoebe: Okay so, we’ll just come up with some kind of signal if it’s going well you can take off.
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I haven’t told him I’m pregnant yet.
Phoebe: Oh. Why not?
Rachel: ‘Cause I know he’s gonna flip out and I hate it when he’s angry.
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so ‘Papa don’t preach.’
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again he’d make me eat the entire pack.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh well, I will be there!
Rachel: Thank you.
Phoebe: Gosh. I’m not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Monica: (recognizing him and panicking) No you don’t!
Rachel: (panicking) No you don’t.
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! He’s the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Chandler: Her what?!!
Phoebe: Your secret bachelorette party…
Chandler: You had a bachelorette party?!
Phoebe: She untied his G-string with her teeth……….Somebody stop me!
Chandler: I thought we weren’t gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Y’know, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: It’s a grand tradition!
Monica: I’m sorry, they surprised me. There was nothing I could do!
Rachel: Well you could’ve untied it with your hands.
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasn’t allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Chandler: You went home with the waitress.
Joey: Oh yeah, that was a pretty good night.
Chandler: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
